Can I Please ‘De-Friend’ You?’

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Your dear old buddy, Margaret, just called to ask if you would ‘friend’ her on Facebook.

“I would, but I’m not on Facebook,” you said.

“Oh,” she replied.  “How come I keep getting friend requests from people I don’t really care about, and everyone I care about I’m already in touch with?”

“That’s why I’m not on Facebook,” you answer, simply.

“I’m going to have to figure out how to get rid of some of these people,” Margaret decides.  You can talk like this once you’re over fifty.  Once you stare age fifty in the face, you learn to let some things go.  You learn who is near and dear to you, and that time is short.  You’ve known Margaret for forty years; you get together as much as you can, email and call one another, even though you live in two different states.

“I mean,” she continues, “These constant daily updates are from all of these people that I don’t care about; we just don’t have anything in common.  For example, I don’t really care whether or not someone hearts Macy’s furniture.”

“Hmm,” you reply.  You had actually sat on a nice Sherrill sofa at Macy’s last week.  Maybe she can de-friend her ex-friend and you can hop on Facebook and be-friend them to find out more about their sofa.

“And I just don’t care if someone bought a new pair of pants yesterday,” Margaret sighs.

“What kind of pants?” you ask, perking up.  You’ve been searching for a camel pair for years.

“Are you sure you aren’t on Facebook?’ Margaret asks, incredulous.  Well, you did hop on and then off, years ago when it first came out.  You had two teens then and wanted to make sure it wasn’t crawling with creepy types.  As college students, they embraced it fully, and had fun with it.   Their daily updates seem to revolve around parties and concerts, rather than sofas and pants.  But for folks in your age group, you’ve heard many complaints over the years.

“My old boyfriend looked me up,” Alex confessed lowly one night.  You visibly cringed.  “Which one?”  (God, please don’t say Johnny Mac).

“Johnny Mac.”  Oooooh.  The original creepy crawler.  Reason enough never ever to get on a social networking site.

“I’ll ask my daughter how to de-friend when she gets home from school,” Margaret decides.

“Good luck with it,” you say, and hang up.  Maybe you’ll ‘hop back on’ just for a second and see if Macy’s is on Facebook, and while you’re at it check and see who just bought a fresh pair of trousers.

After some Googling, you discover that it is easy to de-friend, you just click on an ominous ‘x’ next to their name.  Perhaps for now you won’t social network and post photos, you’ll just stick to safe, anonymous, good old-fashioned Googling.


A freelance writer who revels in the 1970's...and today. Thoughts on being a baby baby boomer and empty nester. Welcome to the Saturday evening porch.
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6 Responses to Can I Please ‘De-Friend’ You?’

  1. Teri says:

    Great post! 🙂 Funny too. (Btw, I accidentally logged myself out trying to comment on your post, idiot that I am. The logout button is HUGE and the submit comment button is little…were you trying to tell me something???)

    Anyway, probably better to stay away from Facebook if you managed to avoid it this long. It becomes an addiction for many…(not that I would know, or anything.)

  2. OMG–you’re right about the size of the buttons. I’m blaming the “Ocean Mist” theme page thingy!
    Also, agree with you about Facebook. I would hop on that thing and never ever EVER get off. I was addicted to my 1974 high school yearbook, with 750 stamp-sized photos of folks in my senior class–’nuff said.

  3. Funny post! I want to share it on Facebook, but I won’t! LOL! You are right about turning 50 and making distinctions between the keepers and all the rest. I’m gearing up for it (less than 2 months to go). Sounds cruel, but, like FB, it would be wonderful if we could press an X and magically de-friend a few “friends” in realtime!

  4. Val Erde says:

    I had a facebook account three maybe four times and each time got fed up with it, the last time was really the last time. I won’t go back now. I think if I were a kid, I’d probably love it (though if I were a kid with what we had going on when I was one, I’d be out at gigs instead), but not now as I’m heading rapidly for the big six oh.

    I surfed in here via Amiable Amiable whose blog I’m only just starting to read again after an absence! Bad me!

    I’ve added your blog to my feed reader and hope to visit again soon.

  5. Thanks so much, Val. From what I hear it’s great for sharing travel and event photos, anyway!

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