Holiday Fluffin’

Your friends were over at your house for a visit and there was a knock on the door.  You left the living room to go answer, and they overheard this:

“Hey, there.  Thought you could use a little fluffin’ ’bout now.”  (Male voice)

“That sounds wonderful–you read my mind!”

My friends were trying to sit on their hands not to laugh, while waiting anxiously in the other room to hear about the sexy offer from some stranger.

“That was my yard man,” you explained.  “He’s just coming over to mow, blow and go.”

“Oh.”  They looked so disappointed, hoping for a much juicier scenario.

Since then, ‘fluffing’ has been one of your favorite words.  In the past two days, for example, you have fluffed non-stop.  Not only the yard, after the mow blow and go, but taking care of the flower pots, dead-headin’, weedin,’ waterin’ and such.  When it got below forty, you moved indoors.   After fluffing cushions and giving them ye olde karate chop in the middle, you take the storage areas to task.

Yesterday at 3 :15 you stopped and thought, What on earth have I been doing for the past eight hours???? The answer is simply, Fluffin.’ Yesterday, you made the big journey to the Costco warehouse, eating the appetizers they offer as you roll the mega-cart by.  How proud you were to have a mega-cart!  Stuffed to the brim with holiday bounty–the opposite of your bleak basket from your earlier post:

Your son, home from college, took off his iPod long enough to help you unload your car as POD.  This involved finding space in the pantry, laundry room and wherever, to store these uber-items–which needless to say, involves cleaning out the contents of said pantry first.  You tossed enough light boxes and cans out of the way to slide in the trays of soft drinks, sports drinks, waters and such.  You threw the roll of 80 googolplex toilet paper packs and paper towels into the laundry room.  You stuffed (stuff then fluff) packs of edibles into the freezer.

Today, you pulled everything back out and broke it down, meaning breaking the boxes out of their uber-wrappers in order to store them.  Once the larder was stuffed, you then studied the contents–an absolute wreck.  Your spent approx. 3 hours cleaning out the pantry, then moved onto the freezer (don’t they say six months’ shelf span? Unworn clothes in a closet is 3 years?)

Whilst standing in the pantry, you nabbed four bottles of expired salad dressing, before your offspring check expiration dates.  Oh, you are so your mother–which you never ever dreamed you would turn into!  As a sassy seventeen-year old, did you ever dream you’d be…your mother?  Much less your Grandma????  Anywho, won’t make that mistake again, stocking up on salad dressing with short shelf lives.

Again, feeling proud because of the last unexpected visit your daughter had to your house, she said:

Holiday bounty in the larder…priceless.  Now you just need an Excel chart to schedule holiday thawing.



A freelance writer who revels in the 1970's...and today. Thoughts on being a baby baby boomer and empty nester. Welcome to the Saturday evening porch.
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6 Responses to Holiday Fluffin’

  1. Fluffin’ – good word! Doesn’t sound like work at all – how deceiving! You got so much accomplished. I’m in awe. And I’m impressed that your son was home long enough to help you unload groceries. My boys have been home since Friday and Saturday and I think I’ve seen them each for a total of 15 minutes. My offspring are also the expiration date police. I made them that way after my mother-in-law repeatedly tried to give them snacks that were over a year old. I don’t admit to it about myself (I’m in denial) but, yup, it’s a mother thing! Enjoy the holidays!

    • Love the expiration date police concept! House is a mess again, so time to re-fluff…next year. Hope you had a wonderful holiday with your children home! Hope you are having a wonderful holiday, too. We need to compare notes once the kid dust settles.

  2. I thought having a stacked pantry with enough food to last six month was when we turned into our parents and grandparents. Not there yet. Enjoy your Christmas.

  3. Hope you have all your fluffin’ and thawin’ done and can enjoy your time with your family! Have a very Merry Christmas!

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