Texting Like Yoda: Blame it on AutoCorrect


Master Yoda

Image by Alex No Logo aka blackheartking.com (xtyler) via Flickr

Back when you first started texting, you limped along on your sleek new state-of-the- art Razor cellphone. The crazy words it would implant and imbed in your messages were random and strange, any sentence structure flew out the window:  cu@y1hows pArtygrettime. Not much high-powered AutoCorrect going on there.  The seventh grade teacher who taught you to diagram sentences is rolling in their grave.  But it’s not your fault; you were still trying to get the hang of keeping in touch with your newly minted college student, you advanced your way up to,”Bio lab today how is?” with Yoda-esque verbs hanging at the end of every text.  You’ve always been grammatically challenged , but you finally got the hang (no pun intended) and stopped dangling verbs by overriding AutoCorrect.

*Note to Self and Note to Parents:  TEXTING is the preferred form of communication for college students, especially guys.  So, bear with yourself.

Then your Razor slid to the floor in a diner and disappeared.  You searched high and low for another.  Fresh out of luck, and thank goodness.  Usher in the era of the iphone.  You happy face/heart emoticon your iphone.  It is the only toy you have.  You feel like a child again.   You hold it in your hand like the treasured doll you played with at the age of nine (it was a rubber troll doll, but still).  You didn’t know they made toys for people your age.  There’s always the car as toy concept of course, but you simply view vehicles as getting you from Point A to Point B.  Now while sitting in the doctor’s office waiting for a CT scan, you can play the Cannon game and the world’s problems completely dissolve.  You can sit in the pleather chair and move mountains–albeit tiny video ones.

So the games are cool, but again you find yourself even more text-challenged.  Talk about AutoCorrect, more like AutoSassy; you’ve nearly lost friends over this.  After your sweet friend Sumner texted her son’s latest cute saying,“What-evs,” you typed in “Awwww,” and pressed SEND.  The message she received was:

SEWER.

Sewer?  Come on.  What’s going on with AutoSassy?  How often do folks use that word in daily conversation?  But you had done the unthinkable.  You had texted without reading glasses.  You could get into a great deal of trouble over this method.  Wars have been lost using such tactics.  Never text while driving.  Pull over, fish out your readers from your bottomless handbag and put them on.  Take the time to override the AutoSassy and make yourself clear.  You will save many a friendship.

Quickly you text Sumner and blame everything on the uppity AutoSassy.  She understands and lets you off the hook.  Actually, you are proud of yourself and most of your friends who have learned how to text; you know many fellow Boomers who have never tried and never will.  Most of them, safe to say, do NOT have children in college.

You are happy that your dear friend, Jane, just texted that she wanted to “read your new clog.”  The same kind Jane who was accidentally on the receiving end of your terse Thai take-out order:  Pad Thai, Masaman, sub stir-fry veggies for whi ric.”  Jane handled your error with great aplomb.  She knows you did not suddenly expect her to step and fetch your dinner.

You are proud of the Sandwich Gen:  you all can keep up with current techy stuff, get our point across and stay in touch.  You also just read that you can disable AutoSassy–yes.  For those of you who are interested in irreverent vents about AutoCorrect innocent innuendo, there are plenty to google.  Warning–read at your own risk of gasping and guffawing.

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About reelingintheyears.wordpress.com

A freelance writer who revels in the 1970's...and today. Thoughts on being a baby baby boomer and empty nester. Welcome to the Saturday evening porch.
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21 Responses to Texting Like Yoda: Blame it on AutoCorrect

  1. Jane Whitfield says:

    got a good laugh on this one!! your latest CLOG!!!

  2. LOL (test talk … I mean text talk … it’s all I know … I am not AutoSassy savy like you!). So true that college boys only communicate by texting. That’s how I let my sons know when it’s time for dinner. When they’re home. BTW (I know one other!), I have my readers on and I’m still leaning over my laptop to read. I can’t get Rx glasses because I lose my readers too much … if only they could be found at the bottom of my bottomless pit of a purse. I think the last pair that went missing is with your Razor.

    • You are so funny! And, BTW, you are way beyond moi; I can’t even use a laptop because am laptop challenged…I think I like a real-live 3D mouse (future post). I mentioned the lil troll in your honor. I actually had 23 of them but a favorite one named Lewis–my very first one.

      • I am jealous that you had 23 trolls!!! I only had one, maybe two. And is it okay that I laughed at your favorite one being named Lewis? I was expecting something a little more Norwegian, like Peder or Roald. But, come to think of it, mine was probably named Tim, after my brother. He didn’t look like a troll (thank god), but I just named everything after him, In fact, if I did have a second troll, it would have been named Tim #2. I had a limited vocabularly and imagination as a child.

      • You’re right–Lewis is hilarious! Tim #2 is sweeter though.

  3. Great entry! Heart emoticon it, I do. Ok, enough of me trying to sound like Yoda. Really, this made me chuckle, out loud. Texting is the most effective way to reach all three of my kids (and none of them are still in college)! So, yeah, we’re cool or “kewl” as the younger set says. Except you’re way cooler than me…you have an iphone! And you had 23 troll dolls???!! I think I had one, and I was so unimaginative, it had no name. But I think I actually still have it… hiding in a box somewhere, it is.

    • You are sweet–thank you! You helped me realize that there is a definite troll connection–Yoda looks like a troll, yes? Aren’t the wee trolls collectibles nowadays? Mine lost their hair and perhaps aren’t so marketable. I had trolls instead of Barbies!
      I heart my iphone but don’t know how to work it. I just press all of the buttons until something happens.
      So when your first child was in college was there texting? I can’t even remember when it came about!

      • Looks like a troll, Yoda does!!! So guess what I found in my basement clean-out today? Oh yes! The nameless troll doll, but alas, he lost his hair too!
        My oldest went to college in 2000 — no texting then I think. She didn’t even HAVE a cell phone until her junior or senior year of college, come to think of it. Gasp! How did she ever survive???? Better yet, how did I??

  4. curlilox403 says:

    I spend one or two nights per week at damnyouautocorrect.com. I laugh so hard the tears start rolling.

    Texting bloopers make my day, especially when they come from my fifty something mother. When autocorrect changes an innocent word into a phrase I know my prim and proper southern mother would never in a million trillion years utter, I lock the message into my phone to look back at whenever I have had a particularly rough day and need a good giggle.

  5. Natalie Cone says:

    SEWER!! That’s what my sister sent back to me when I sent her a text saying that our baby is a boy. She had to send a follow-up text explaining. And instead of saying “Yipee!” I recieved “Rupee!”
    I’ll have to let her know that AutoCorrect CAN be turned off.

  6. Changeling says:

    Yeah, technology can throw you the ultimate mind screw sometimes, like when I first started my Facebook account and checked both “Men” and “women” under the “Interested in” section. There were some interesting repercussions.

  7. Val Erde says:

    Not only can I not text, but when my mobile phone (cell phone) was working (which it isn’t anymore) I kept getting alarmed when it rang… because I’d set the ring tone to something called ‘Elves’ and it made this weird tinny little tinkly noise that seemed to be coming out of the woodwork!

  8. Shaun says:

    I’ve had quite a few mistypes with autocorrect myself. Where do they get these words from

  9. Coco Rivers says:

    Oooh but this is rich!!!! lol. I totally get the whole toy thing and thr troll doll comment really had me rolling. You have a great sense of humor. I am sad to say that I too have had many a fight with “Auto-Sassy” and would like to catch the idiots who thought this was a time-saving mechanism. Jeez!!

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