What Southern Women Want

Here is the secret to what southern women want–men, listen up and take note.  What we want is something very simple, and exceedingly affordable.  Hopefully, this is something you can find at close proximity.

What southern women want, what southern women need, is:

CHICKEN SALAD.

Or, perhaps– rather–merchants, take note.   When you first moved to your neighborhood twenty years ago, there was a simple sandwich shop.  A local chain, they had it down to a science and offered eat-in or take-out sandwiches and salads.  Period.

You have watched with great anguish as this charming little restaurant has now changed hands nearly ten times.  You wring your hands as you observe the venue struggling to find its identity, through a long string of couture burgers, faux Italian and fish.  Now, there is no sandwich shop per se, yet we have three frozen yogurt shops and couture coffee/tea places within a square mile.

You love your neighborhood because it does in fact hold all of the above, but you need to mix it up a wee bit.  Listen up, all ye restauranteurs:  if you offer good chicken salad, you will be in business a long, long time.  There is no stronger mode of communication than ‘word of southern women’s mouths.’  This is how films become blockbusters and books become best-sellers.

Our poor neighborhood butcher is trying to keep up with the increasing demand for chicken salad.  He started offering this ‘on the side’ and has gotten an overwhelming response.  This is all well and good, but he mainly wants to focus on his butcherly interests, that of selling fresh, whole chickens and various cuts of beef.   You and your husband stopped by last Saturday and the poor soul had run out of chicken salad, as well as loaves of bread.  Folks are knocking down his door to get to the chicken salad.  Are purveyors of goods tracking this phenomenon?

You have attached a photo of the shop that makes the best chicken salad in the southern world–unfortunately it is located one hour west.  You wish they would open one in your neighborhood.  Recipe for the best chicken salad includes:  not too much mayo– just enough to bind the white meat– a bare hint of chopped pecan or walnut, a few cut-up purple grapes.

Meanwhile, you don’t mean to overlook tuna and egg salad; your dream sandwich shop would offer simple sturdy recipes for those as well.  There could be some coffee and some baked goods in the morning, but the main focus would be chicken salad.  Chains are fine, but we would welcome only a chain that offers decent chicken salad.  A little outdoor seating might be nice.  We southern women love to eat outdoors.  If it’s cold, rainy, or we’re in a rush-we’ll take a tub home to go.

Just give us chicken salad on cracked wheat, some chips and pickle on the side, and a Mason-Dixon tea–half sweet, half un. Done.

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